In the interest of expanding my horizons here......... we are going for our second, yes SECOND, performance at the 'Open Mic Night' at the local Arboretum. They have an outdoor stage and a field for spectators (and fans :) to sit.

We (Dan Sr., Dan Jr., Kristen and I) were there about 7 years ago. This was just about the time when we had initially picked up instruments, and really knew next to nothing. So, we decided we would 'perfect' one song, and perform it at the Open Mic Night. We did 'okay', even though we had a 15 minute slot and only sang for about 4 of those minutes.... but the end result was a total feeling of euphoria for doing something we didn't think we could... I am a firm believer in doing things like that, most especially when it is something I thought I could never do.

So..... this time around, we have FOUR songs... hopefully enough to fill our 15 minute slot. I will be on guitar and vocals, Kristen will be on the same, Dan Jr. on the fiddle, and Dan Sr. will play guitar. I haven't had a ton of practice time (even though it has been 7 full years since we have been there.. haha), but I think we can pull it off.

The funniest part of it is that the guy who organizes it recognized us. He said he uses us as an example to encourage people to come. (partially flattering, but really what he is saying to these people is that 'If they can do it only knowing one song, then you have no excuse!') I am glad we could help out there... :)

I will definitely post pix when we get them, and fill you in on all details... Okay, off to practice!

Midlife Crisis

No, I haven't been out buying sports cars, going on cruises, or losing 20 lbs and dyeing my hair... but for the past couple months I have found myself wondering 'What am I doing with my life?'......... From the outside, I guess that seems a silly question.. I am happily married, raising 7 kids, running a household, volunteering for the church, etc. What else do I need? Well, maybe nothing... but I just found myself thinking thoughts like, 'where is my life going, what does God want from me, is there something else I should be doing, where do I find my worth, etc, etc'. I feel like I am back in my teen years wondering which direction my life needs to take from here.

Sometimes I find myself looking around at others and seeing their most positive qualities and wondering why I lack them. Comparing oneself to others is a dangerous game, btw... So I end up thinking to myself that I should be making quilts, writing books, training harder for my runs, taking continuing education courses, scrapbooking all 7 of my kids' lives, making my own card instead of purchasing them, becoming the perfect hostess, etc, etc..... right smack in the middle of raising my kids and dealing with all that life brings just from that alone. An overwhelming feeling, I must say.

In God's Wisdom, He planned this identity crisis of mine right at the time I was to go on a Youth Conference at the University of Steubenville (stories on that are forthcoming!!!).. I almost felt that I shouldn't go, because what kind of chaperone could I really be to the kids if I couldn't even figure myself out. But, my intense desire to be back on campus and to share this unique opportunity with my eldest daughter, overshadowed my doubts and off we went. I knew I was there for the kids, and not for me.. but luckily the Holy Spirit is so grand and generous that there is Grace in abundance.

From the beginning of my 'wonderings' about my life (well, the most recent anyway), I had been listening to some tapes on Mental prayer and coming to the realization that my life needed more grounding in prayer. God had things to say to me, and I really wasn't able to listen, or atleast I wasn't taking the time to listen.. I was flailing along with no direction and this is, I am sure, what led to my identity crisis. On our weekend away, I was so blessed by all the testimonies I heard. The leaders of the conference AND our very own teens. I needed to hear about all the ups and downs that everyone faces and that in the end, God is the one who leads us away from ourselves and toward HIM. And the way He leads us is through prayer. Not just our 'babbling on' for an hour about what we need/want/hope for... but in the still and quiet of our hearts, He speaks. We just need to listen...

So I haven't 'figured it all out', but I know where I am going now. (if that makes any sense at all...) I have found peace in knowing that God's plan will unfold itself... I just need to listen and follow.